Begin Again
by xXForeverInvisibleXx
Summary: Leah's daughter gets imprinted on by Paul and Rachel's son. Cassie and Christian find themselves out of control with this crazy thing called imprinting, but when you're falling in love, you can't really help it!
1. Find your way back home

Going back home wasn't easy on my mom. Her whole stance as she drove screamed of that. Her shoulders were stiff and her fingertips were pressing hard against the steering wheel of our new black Nissan; signs that she wasn't comfortable with going towards La Push, Washington. But she couldn't get away from it. Her only brother's wedding was in just a few weeks and she had to be there. So, she put on her brave face, packed our things and we were off.

"So you never told me of your family in Washington. What's my uncle and grandma like?" I asked, in an attempt to get her to talk to me and lighten up the atmosphere in the car.

Leah Clearwater in her forty-one, was still one of the most stunning women I knew. She still had the body and the stamina of her twenty-five year old self. Her face had minimal wrinkles and those only showed when she was laughing or smiling, which was really often. Her long black hair was always up in a ponytail and not a hair dared be out of place. She always dressed in comfortable high-waisted mom jeans and button down shirts, always tucked in her pants. She was the modern kind of mom; the one that worked from home. See, my mom was a freelance writer and so far her novels had paid out a lot; enough for us to live a _very_ comfortable life.

She told me she left La Push when she was only twenty-two years old. She said she left after some sort of big fight had ended between her friends and some strangers that were causing a lot of trouble. She took online classes for three years until she got her degree in English Lit and then she took off to California. Books paid off well and then she had me after a one-night stand. I never cared to find out who my dad was and I never asked her to look for me. Mom was the only family I would ever need. Besides, she loved me more than anyone else; she called me her little miracle because she thought she couldn't have children, until I came along.

We had our fun times and we almost never fought. She let me go to parties and sleepovers with my friends, but only every other weekend and I never stayed out after midnight, just like Cinderella! It was our little joke of my curfew, but I never complained about any of her rules. It was how my life was and I was more than satisfied with it. Besides, she was cool if my friends came over often and she never even lifted an eyebrow if I ever brought a boy home with me; she trusted me with them because she had taught me how to fend them off if they became a burden for me. And trust me; a punch always does the trick.

"Your grandma Sue had been living alone ever since your grandpa Harry died. Though for a while both I and your uncle thought she was going to re-marry, she never could love anyone else. She's a nice woman, friendly. She'll have a lot of embarrassing baby stories to tell you" a small smile tugged on the corner of her lips and her eyes glazed over, her mind lost in memory. "Seth is the typical chipper guy; always happy and brightening everyone's day. Though he's huge in size, always remember he's really a big teddy bear. That girl, Alex, whoever she is, is truly lucky to have him. She's the best guy in the world; very sweet and attentive. He can't wait to finally meet you, really. He's been nagging me for years to go visit. Our extended family did the same too"

"Extended family?" I inquired, my eyebrows pushing together.

"Friends. Or you might say brothers in heart. Your uncle Seth and I used to hang around a group of guys back in the day. Sam, Jared, Paul, Jacob, Embry, Quil, Collin, Brady… Some of them have families of their own now. Sam married my cousin Emily a few years after I left. I never went to the wedding. They have two boys and a girl from what I heard. Jared and Kim married right after them and they've got three kids and expecting their fourth. Paul married Rachel and they have five boys" she shrugged. "I don't know about the rest. From what Seth's been telling me, Quil is about to get married too, in four months I think"

I nodded and she fell quiet, still gazing ahead. I left her alone with her thoughts and turned on my IPod, putting my headphones over my ears. We still had about an hour ahead of us before we got there. The scenery went by so fast; I only saw patches of green against the cloudy grey sky. My head fell back against the car seat as I relaxed completely. The soft intro of a song started playing through the headphones.

_I've never opened up to anyone  
So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms  
We don't need to rush this  
Let's just take it slow  
Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight  
Just a touch of the fire burning so bright  
No I don't want to mess this thing up  
I don't want to push too far_

My fingers started toying with the delicate silver charm bracelet that was around my wrist, right next to my watch. It was a gift from my last boyfriend, Raphael. He was a Spanish guy that was enrolled in my school in the middle of the school year and we had bonded over our shared love for sports. Weeks later, he asked me to be his girlfriend and like the stupid little girl I am, I accepted. It was my first relationship and I had this whole romantic idea made up in my head about how he was perfect and he would hold my hand and hug me around my waist and kiss me softly as he walked me to my door.

He didn't do any of this; on the contrary, he barely touched me. He never made me laugh, he never laughed at my jokes. He wasn't interested in hearing about my day. He showed the least affection a man could and it left me hurt and crying my heart out to mom. I tried talking to him about it, he said he'd try and he forgot his promise the morning after. So, I had finally broken it off with him, after growing sick of all the tears and heartache. But I had fallen in love with him somewhere along those first weeks and it was kinda hard on me. It almost made me think that it would be impossible for me to get close to anyone again.

Mom must've heard me sigh because she turned to me and smiled softly. I smiled back and closed my eyes briefly, intending on resting for a bit. It turned out to a full-swing nap, obviously, because the next thing I know mom was shaking me awake, saying that we were there. I sat up abruptly and checked my reflection in the mirror, thanking God that my hair was still in place. I rubbed my eyes awake and opened the car door when mom did and got out.

The house was a small two-story red brick building with a large adjoined garage and a wraparound wooden fence and a porch swing. The windows were rather large and the curtains that hung over them were visible through the glass.

"LEAH!" a voice boomed and a rather muscular man ran out of the house.

I thought he would smother mom as he wrapped his arms around her slim frame and I watched in fascination as he spun her around in circles before setting her down. Mom giggled like a little girl and whacked his arm playfully. Then she threw her arms around his neck again and hugged him tightly. The image was rather beautiful and I saved the memory in that little piece of my mind that was reserved for special things like that.

"Seth this is my little Cassie. Cassie this is your uncle Seth" mom didn't even get to finish her sentence before he had wrapped me up in a huge bear hug.

I was startled at that; I wasn't used to such open displays of affection, especially from strangers, but I somehow managed to unfreeze my hands and wrap them around my uncle's waist. He pulled back and took a good look at me, always with a huge smile on his face. His face had the same shape as mom's and his nose was the same as hers too. Though his eyes were a couple of shades lighter and his lips were a little thinner than hers, the resemblance was there.

"Well, look at that! She looks just like you Leah" Uncle Seth smiled and draped his arm across my shoulder. "Come on inside. Mom's making cookies again with Alex"

"You take her in, Seth. I'll grab our things" mom smiled reassuringly at me.

The living room was large, I noticed as we stepped inside. There was a gigantic fireplace next to the window and a fire was burning happily in it. There was a large dark beige sofa in front of it, framed by a couple of loveseats and a thick brown carpet in front of them. There were a lot of bookshelves around, filled with all sorts of books and a stereo in a corner next to a large stack of CD's. Framed pictures hang from the walls and I took a good look at a couple of them as I passed. A younger version of my mom and Uncle Seth was in almost every photo.

As we neared the kitchen, the familiar scent of peanut butter cookies filled my nostrils. An older woman with graying black hair pulled back in a tight bun was pulling the next patch of cookies out of the oven and a younger, pale girl with bouncy curly brown hair and wide hazel eyes was stirring the dough. Every available surface was covered with all sorts of cooking devices, flour bags, sugar containers and Tupperware filled with all sorts of cookie ingredients. It reminded me so much of the condition our kitchen back home was when mom cooked that I couldn't help the laughter that bubbled in my throat.

The older woman turned around sharply and her onyx black eyes met mine. A wide smile spread on her face and her eyes welled up with tears. I felt a little shy, but as she wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace I noticed she smelled just like my mom; jasmine and cookies. I wrapped my arms around her too, a little too easily.

"Oh, I'm so glad you're finally here! Let me get a good look at you!" she sniffled a little as she held me at arm's length to examine my appearance. "You look exactly like your mom, except your eyes. They look so much like your grandfather's"

"Yeah, don't they? His had the same grey color" mom said with a smile as she appeared in the doorway.

"Leah!" grandma said happily and rushed to hug her daughter. "Oh, how I've missed you!"

"Easy there mom, don't choke me" mom laughed and met my eyes over her mother's shoulder. "What's with all the cookies? You _know_ I don't eat as much as I used to and I just _know_ that not even Seth could finish all this on his own"

"Oh, hush!" grandma's smile was the same as mom's. "Everyone's been _dying_ to see you again and your baby girl. They'll be here in a couple of hours or so"

"When you say 'everyone' you mean the whole pack?" she asked, her eyebrows knotting together.

"And the kids, of course! Paul and Rachel's sons, Sam and Emily's kids, Jared and Kim's… they're around Cassie's age. Quil and Claire are coming too, Embry, Collin and Brady… Even Jacob's coming with Billy" grandma informed her happily.

"Jacob?" mom croaked and her eyes widened just a bit. "I thought he was in Canada. Didn't he leave about a couple years back?"

"He came back honey. He came to his senses. We both know how dramatic teenagers can be. He came back a little after you left. He's been asking about you too. He opened a garage in town and so far business has been good. That's where Seth works" grandma turned to look at me and smile. "I think you'll have plenty of time to catch up with them. How about a shower now, after such a long journey?"

"That would be lovely!" I sighed, thinking that I must look like such a mess right now, especially after sleeping in the car.

"I'll show you to your room. Leah, I made your old room for Cassie and you can take my old room. We've remodeled a little, so I think you'll be most comfortable sleeping in a double bed instead of your old single one!" grandma wiped her hands on a washcloth and motioned for us to follow her down the corridor. "Alex and Seth have taken over the entire second floor, so the first one is all ours. I'm sleeping in the room right next to yours"

She stopped in front of the second door on the left and opened it. Mom and I took a step inside and looked around at mom's bedroom from her teenage years. The walls were painted a soft lilac and there were a lot of posters of bands like The Rolling Stones, Scorpions, Bon Jovi, Led Zeppelin etc. There was a rather large window with a window seat with lots of pillows on it. The single bed was pushed against the wall and the duvet was a deep purple with silver lining. There was a rather large closet against the wall, a vanity table, a desk and a matching chair and a dresser; all wooden too. White lace curtains hung in front of the window and a door to the wall on my left led to a bathroom.

"This is your room?" I whispered to mom, staring around with wide eyes.

She nodded. Uncle Seth brought my suitcase and laid it out on the bed. He winked as he left and I found myself smiling. Mom and grandma left me alone, chatting as they went. Still looking around in awe, I walked to the window seat and looked out the window. The forest was surrounding the entire house and with the grey cloudy sky in the background it was a melancholic image. I sighed softly and got up to take a shower, since grandma said people were coming over to catch up with mom.

I dried my hair quickly and pulled them back in a neat ponytail. I opened the closet to start putting away clothes, but there was a dress in it already. And what a beautiful dress it was! It was floor-length and white, strapless with red and yellow flowers embroidered at the hem and neckline. It looked absolutely divine. I pushed it to the side and started hanging my clothes on the hangers provided, sorting them by color and style, leaving out a clean pair of skinny jeans and my favorite oversized grey hoodie.

"Cassie, did you find a dress in your closet?" mom asked, entering the room and going straight to my hair straightener. "Your grandma says they're short on bridesmaids and so you're gonna be one of them. The dress is exactly your size and when you get the chance try it on"

I watched her fumble around, doing her hair quickly. She had traded her button down for a V neck sweater in black and she seemed nervous to me. I walked to her and took the straightener before she could damage her hair furthermore and started picking out strands to straighten. She sighed in relief and relaxed on the stool.

"So what's the deal with that Jacob that ran away?" I asked, attempting to strike conversation.

"Jacob was in love with this girl, Bella. But Bella was in love with both him and Edward, it seemed. Edward left her once and she was broken, but Jake was there to pick up the pieces. When he came back though, she dumped Jake and left _him_ heartbroken. Then she came back in his life when she got pregnant. Her daughter was too strong for her to take; besides she was a weak, frail girl. Jake was there to help her again" she met my eyes through the mirror. "He even got all of us to help Edward's family with some guys that were giving them trouble. But then Bella took off with her family, after the trouble was finished, leaving Jake behind. He took off to be alone. He couldn't bear seeing others pity him"

"That sounds awful of her. Was he a good guy?" I asked, setting the straightener down as soon as I was done.

"The best there is. Sweet, caring, gentle, affectionate; that was Jacob Black. He had it in him to fix what was broken. He even helped me when I thought that I couldn't have children. I was very bitter at that time, especially when I had to start hanging around my ex fiancé" she half-smiled. "Jacob was more understanding than the rest"

"Still is" came a strange, male voice from my doorway.

"Jake!" I never thought I'd hear my mom squeal like a little girl.

She threw herself in the arms of the most gigantic man I had ever seen. He was well over six feet tall with muscle upon muscle upon muscle. Those arms could've crushed my mom easily. She didn't mind though. She hugged him with all her might and he laughed at her antics.

"That your baby girl? Sure is a beauty like her momma, Lee" he said, beaming over to me.

"Jake this is my little Cassie" mom sounded proud as she said that.

"Nice to meet you, Cassie. I'm Jacob" he extended his arm out for a handshake.

"Hi" I muttered shyly, hiding behind my bangs as I put my hand in his.

"The others are waiting outside for you guys. You coming?" he smiled at mom and tugged me outside by the hand. "They're excited to meet the newest member of the family"

"That's Cassie?" mom's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Yeah, she's sixteen right? The others are seventeen and older" Jacob informed her happily. "Well, except Jared and Kim's unborn baby boy"

As we rounded the corner, I felt my heartbeat speed up in anxiety. All conversations stopped when we walked inside and everyone stared at us. I felt my cheeks heat up at the attention and looked around at everyone in the room. When I got to the last person, a young man that appeared to be a few years older than me, I felt my body tense as his eyes bore into mine. I felt my breathing stop as he froze too.


	2. Learn to live again

The sound of rain tapping down on the house was coaxing me back to sleep, but I stretched and rubbed my eyes, knowing that it was time for me to get up anyway. I sat up slowly, bringing my knees under my chin as I stared out of the window. Closing my eyes, the events of last night came back into the forefront of my mind, making my heart race again.

His name was Christian Logan Lahote. He was four years older than me; meaning he was twenty years old. He stared at me as if I was the only girl he had ever seen. He looked at me as if I was something unique and fascinating and delicate and beautiful. Those dark hazel eyes with the long eyelashes made my heartbeat race whenever he looked at me. And when he had smiled at me and introduced himself with such confidence, I felt as if I might faint. I felt like I couldn't breathe properly. He had done what other boys had failed to do; he left me breathless.

Throwing the covers fully off of me, I padded to the window seat and opened the curtains to be able to look out the window. Lightning split the sky in two with a bolt of light. Rain was rhythmically falling on the ground and the sound was soothing me, somehow. I took my brush from a nearby bedside table and started brushing my hair while I looked out the window, my thoughts going a million miles an hour. His eyes, his lips, his hair, his hands, his body… every part of him; he was on my mind and I couldn't forget about him for a split second.

Sighing in frustration, I walked to the desk and put the backpack I had brought with me on it. Moving quickly, I plugged my laptop in and grabbed my sketchpad and pencils from their case. I turned on some light music and started sketching. I didn't care that mom said we had plans for today. I didn't care that I was still in my pajamas and we might've needed to leave the house today. All I cared about was finishing my drawing so that I could finally empty my mind from the thought of him.

My fingers moved nimbly over the page, tracing lines with the tip of the pencil. Add a lighter tone there, a darker there; I didn't stop until I was pleased with my work. I finished an hour later and held up my work for inspection. And yet it wasn't enough. I growled to myself and got up, grabbing random jeans and a hoodie from the closet as I raced to the bathroom. I went through everything quickly; doing my hair with harsh, jerky movements. I couldn't help it. I was frustrated. Why couldn't I get him out of my mind already? What was it about this guy?

"Slept in?" mom asked, flipping a couple of pancakes in a plate for me.

"Sorry" I mumbled as I dug in, still feeling quite frustrated.

I felt her eyes scan my entire appearance; from the top of the messy bun I had put my hair in and my pissed off expression to the pair of beige UGGs that were on my feet. Mom could understand _exactly_ what I was feeling and thinking just by looking at me. I don't know if that's every mom or just mine, but she could tell. Don't ask how, not even she can say. However, she wasn't going to leave it like that, no matter how pissed off I was. Normally she'd let me rage about, punch a hole through the boxing bag we had back home, run a couple of miles with me until I had blown some steam. But we weren't in California and the only way she could get me to blow off steam was the one I dreaded the most; conversation.

It wasn't that I didn't like talking to my mom; it's just that I usually can't find the _exact_ words to describe what I'm feeling and, most importantly, _why_ I'm feeling that way. I rubbed a hand over my face in exasperation and looked up at her. She was waiting patiently for me to start explaining myself. I mentally groaned. When I finally opened my mouth, the words came so fast I didn't think she had heard me. It was something like: Icangetimouttamymin.

"Who?" she asked.

"Christian" I muttered, looking out of the kitchen window. "I mean, since yesterday, I can't stop thinking about him. It's like he's stuck in my mind. It's like having LSS only it's not a song, it's a person and if you want my mind it's a really attractive person that happens to be a guy that's way taller than me, super-duper muscular and has the most amazing eyes I've ever seen" I was rambling by this point, but I couldn't care less, I just wanted to get it all out. "I mean, this has never happened to me. Why is he always on my mind? Why can't I just _stop_ thinking about him? It's unnerving because _nothing _works. My head's all _Christian, Christian, Christian_ and _that's it_. I'm going _mad_"

She let me catch a breath while she studied my expression a little more. Then she chuckled. Yeah, that's right; she _chuckled_. As in she _laughed._ At me. Which only made me feel even more ridiculous because I was acting like a love-struck puppy and that was totally _not _cool with me? I mean, _come on_. What was _with _that guy that made me like this? But, back to the point; mom was laughing at me.

"You're not going mad, honey. You're just attracted to him" mom said, smiling at me. "Which I think it's okay for now, as long as he doesn't turn out to be a jerk like that other guy. What was his name? Raphael, right?"

I nodded mutely, still trying to process what he was saying. Was she saying that it was _okay_ that I was thinking about him, that I was _obsessed_ with that guy? I looked at her suspiciously. Leah Clearwater wasn't one to fool around about things like that.

"Why?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at her.

"Why, what?" she asked, her eyes widening innocently.

"Why are you so okay about this? Shouldn't you be motherly like 'stay away from boys until you're thirty' or something like that?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Look, I think it's the fact that I know Paul and Rachel. And Christian seems like a _nice_ kid" she shrugged her shoulders. "But I suggest you gather your mind from wherever it is right now, because we're leaving in about five minutes to join your grandma and Alex at Rachel's house, where they're doing all the planning"

"Do I really have to be there?" I groaned in frustration.

"Yes. I can't leave you alone in the house!" she got up and gathered my, now, empty plate and put it in the sink. "Besides, I doubt you'll get bored. The boys will be there"

I was on autopilot the whole drive to Paul and Rachel's. The blaring rock music greeted us and it seemed to snap me out of my hazy state. Paul and Christian were in front of the TV holding guitars, one trying to beat the other. Tyler, Los, Ash and PJ were watching from the sofa, cheering them on. I fought a laugh at the image they presented. I walked with mom to the kitchen to join Alex, grandma and Rachel who were all going through recipe books. I rolled my eyes and plopped down on a chair, slightly swaying to the beat of Aerosmith's "Same old song and dance".

_No smooth-faced lawyer  
To get ya undone  
Say, love ain't the same  
On the south side of town  
You can look  
But you ain't gonna find it around  
It's the same old story  
Same old song and dance, my friend  
It's the same old story  
Same old story  
Same old song and dance_

"Oh, dear, Cassie you don't have to stay here with us!" Rachel's exclamation brought me out of my own little bubble. "TYLER! LOS! GET YOUR ASSES HERE!"

In zero time, the twins were in the kitchen, saluting their mother with identical grins on their faces. They grabbed me by the arms and pulled me to the living room with them, while I looked from one to the other, feeling and probably looking hilariously confused. Laughing, they sat me down on the couch between them and I felt myself getting hot in my white hoodie.

"So who'd you think will win?" Los asked, attempting to break the ice between us.

"Um… Christian?" I said the first thing that popped out of my head actually.

I thought I saw him smile as the song went on and finally he _did_ win. Ash and Tyler jumped up from the couch, cheering their younger brother while Paul smiled at them with a hint of pride in his eyes.

"It's Cassie against Christian now" Los said, winking at me.

"Uh, how about you guys play and I'll just watch quietly?" I fumbled with my sleeves nervously.

"Don't be silly! Christian won against all of us and now's your turn!" Ash pulled me to my feet and Paul handed me his guitar before going to the kitchen, laughing.

My fingers found the buttons on the plastic guitar they handed me a little too easily. Before me and Rafael were a couple, we used to play Guitar Hero III all the time on his PlayStation. You could say that I've had a lot of practice, but after our breakup, I hadn't touched a guitar again. I glanced at Christian as I nervously got into place and he smiled at me reassuringly. I took a deep breath as the game started and the intro of Alice Cooper's "School's Out" made me smile. _Easy peasy_.

_Well we got no choice  
All the girls and boys  
Makin all that noise  
Cause they found new toys  
Well we can't salute ya  
Can't find a flag  
If that don't suit ya  
That's a drag_

I found myself muttering the lyrics under my breath as I hit every note with precision that made Christian look at me strangely. And then his jaw squared and he started trying harder to get the notes straight, intending on beating me. Ha! As if _that_ would happen.

_School's out for summer  
School's out forever  
School's been blown to pieces  
No more pencils  
No more books  
No more teacher's dirty looks_

He got a wrong note at that and I laughed right out at him. He shot me a playful glare and smirked, staring intently at the screen as the next verse came up.

_Well we got no class  
And we got no principles  
And we got no innocence  
We can't even think of a word that rhymes  
School's out for summer  
School's out forever  
School's been blown to pieces  
No more pencils  
No more books  
No more teacher's dirty looks  
Out for summer  
Out 'till fall  
We might not go back at all  
School's out forever  
School's out for summer  
School's out with fever  
School's out completely_

And… YES! I got high score! I jumped up and down clapping happily. I turned and smiled at Christian, feeling more and more like my usual self every minute that passed. He set down the guitar and allowed Ash and Los to wrap me in a bone-crushing bear hug while they jumped up and down with me. I couldn't help my laughter.

"Hey, hey, what's with all the commotion?" Paul's head popped in the doorway. "Your mothers and Sue are trying to plan a wedding here"

"Cassie beat me" Christian's voice boomed over all the commotion.

"About time someone did!" we heard Rachel call out from the kitchen, which sent all of us into another fit of laughter.

"Why don't you take Cassie out into the beach so they can get some work done, huh?" Paul said, disappearing back inside again.

"Best idea ever!" Tyler said.

Walking between Los and Christian, I followed the boys into the forest. There was a clear path and I could hear the sound of waves off into the distance. The rain had stopped falling a while ago, but everything was wet and slippery. I was extra careful where I stepped and I used the boys for balance whenever we had to go over a particularly slippery spot. Neither of them seemed to mind.

The sight of the First Beach with the grey sky above it was haunting at the least. The waves crashed on the shore and the rocks beneath the cliffs, black with the white foam at the edges. There was a lot of driftwood washed out on the sand and it was so salty it was almost white. The boys started walking along the beach, falling into a lazy pace as they rambled on and on about God knows what. I walked along with them, observing the environment around me quietly. It would be an amazing place for taking photos.

Tyler, Ash and PJ sat on a lodge, still talking animatedly. I sat down next to PJ, with Christian and Los on my other side. I finally caught up to what they were talking about; a bonfire that was going to be held up in the cliffs tonight. I remember mom telling me about it right before I went to bed last night. It was sort of a tradition in La Push; they lit a fire and told scary stories around it. Sorry, not scary stories, but the legends of the tribe. It sounded pretty awesome to me.

"So are you going to be here tonight?" Christian's deep voice startled me.

"Um, yeah, I think mom said we'll be here" I said, ducking my head slightly to hide behind my bangs. "I'm not going to ask. Your brothers seem very excited about it"

"Yeah, well, it's because of the 'party' that's before the stories they're excited about. You know; lots of food and drink, some good music, conversation" he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly.

"So that's what you guys do every Saturday night?" I asked, leaning slightly on my elbows.

Inwardly, I was having a fan girl moment of some sort. I mean he was _there_, that big hunk of a man and he was _talking _to me, sharing what he was doing every Saturday night. Immature, probably, and a little too girl-ish for me, but what to do? That's what you get for crushing on somebody you've just met. And, plus, I think any girl in my place would've had a fan girl moment if a hot guy was talking to them.

"Mostly" his position now mirrored mine. "What did you used to do every Saturday night in California?"

"A little of this, a little of that; mostly just going out for dinner and a movie with friends and then we would just walk around and talk" I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. "But we'd be home by at least ten, like the good kids we really are"

He chuckled lightly with me. He had a magical smile, but an ever more magical laugh. It was rich and deep, just like his voice and it just made him all that more gorgeous to my eyes. I felt heat rise on my cheeks again as he looked at me with those twinkling dark eyes. It made me duck my head and hide behind my hair again. I don't know why I was coming off so shy with him. I just did.

"So, do you think your mom will let you go out Wednesday afternoon?" his question caught me unprepared.

I gaped at him for a few moments before I remembered how to close my mouth. Had he just asked me out? _Me?_ As in plain, little, boring me?

"If you don't want to, then that's fine, but I'd really like it if you actually agreed to it" he said, smiling a little shyly at me.

"Um… I, uh, don't think I have anything else planned" I giggled a little nervously and then looked around to find that his brothers had gone off into the water.

"I can pick you up after the dress rehearsal at four" his entire face was lit up by his smile.

"Then, I guess it's a date" the words came to me too easily.

His grin grew wider and he stood. For a second, I watched him, baffled by his behavior. Was he going to leave? Instead of doing just that, he picked me up in a swift motion, threw me over his shoulder and started running for the water. I started laughing and then I hit the ice cold water, with his warm body still touching mine. It was a shock, but we were both laughing when we resurfaced.

And then our eyes locked together and I found myself lost in them. An odd flicker of emotion appeared in the black depths of his pupils. I couldn't put my finger on what it really was; it was intense though. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move. I was captivated by him. The way the salty water shone on his long eyelashes, the way his black hair hung wet around his face; it reminded me of movie stars in those sappy romance movies, perfect and certainly not for me.

A splash of water hitting us ruined the moment, but we retaliated equally, splashing Los and Ash with fervor, all the while laughing. My hair was a mess, my clothes were soaked and my shoes were probably ruined forever, but I didn't care. I hadn't had so much fun in my entire life.


	3. A perfectly perfect first date

"How would you feel if we didn't go back to California this September?"

I almost dropped the makeup brush I was holding just then. I stared at my mom's reflection blankly before I finally registered what she was saying to me. In the background "She's not afraid" by One Direction was playing and for a couple of seconds that's all that could be heard in mom's childhood room.

"Are you serious?" was the first thing I blurted out, cutting the silence between us.

"I am. Your grandma dropped me the bomb that Alex is pregnant with twins and _that's_ the rush for the wedding. Seth and Alex will need all the help they can get. They both work. And Alex will be showing a lot soon so I figured since you seem to get along with the guys nicely and the high school around here is decent… maybe we actually need a change of scenery" she smiled at me a little apologetically after her little rant. "I'm sorry honey, but neither of us actually liked it there. And after your breakup you hadn't been all that well. I started seeing the old you right after we arrived here"

Mom was never a woman for mindless ramblings and her words were well-chosen. She didn't try to hurt me; she never did. But she _was_ right. Although I would miss Leslie, Mike, Poppy and the rest of my friends, there were a lot of painful memories stored back in California. La Push was quiet, a little isolated and the people around here were friendly enough. _And there's Christian_, my conscious whispered to me. I was quick to shush her. Thinking of Christian right now would completely cloud my mind right now and I needed to think.

Did I want to stay in La Push for the rest of my high school years? Sure.

Did I want to give up my friends in California to stay in La Push with all my new friends? I don't know.

Did I want to stay here because of Christian?

That was a 'yes'. And thinking about him reminded me that I had to be ready in about forty-five minutes because he was coming to pick me up for our _date_. I glanced back at mom with a thoughtful expression again. She smiled a little sadly again.

"Okay, how about this. You think it over. We still have about a week before I need to start looking for a house here. But really _think_ sweetheart" and with that she disappeared behind the cover of yet another adult romance novel.

I sighed and got back to doing my makeup. No foundation, but just a hint of blush on my cheeks to add some color on my face. I tried to make even cat-eye shapes around my eyes and succeeded with the help of mom's small angled brush. I thought I needed to open up my eyes a little bit. Their almond shape usually worked for me, but after seeing Christian in all his handsome glory, I felt like I needed to doll up just a bit more to be comfortable around him. I added some mascara and a little bit of brown eyeshadow helped me outline the crease of my eyes to add a little more definition to my eyes. I looked at myself in the mirror, trying to look for any possible flaws on my face. With a small sigh of relief, I found none.

I got up and walked to my closet where my carefully chosen outfit was hanging; skinny denim blue jeans, my favorite soft woolen white jumper and a very pretty scarf in electric blue. I slipped everything on, wrapping the scarf once around my neck, and padded back to the vanity table to finish doing my hair. I pulled out strands and for the next half hour straightened them to perfection before pulling them back in a neat ponytail. I exhaled heavily and pulled out from the bottom of the closet a pair of white ballet flats, since I couldn't wear my UGGs; they were ruined that day we spent at the beach. _The same day Christian asked me out_.

Jesus, I really, really, really needed to stop thinking about him so much. 99% of my brain was all _Christian, Christian, Christian_ and the rest 1% was other random things. I closed my eyes momentarily to gather my thoughts, just as the doorbell rang. Springing into action, I grabbed my purse, throwing in my lip gloss, mascara for a touch-up later, my phone, house keys, IPod and wallet, before walking to the living room to find Christian chatting with Uncle Seth.

He looked absolutely ravishing in the weak light coming from the sun outside. His black hair looked like it had blue highlights in them and his eyelashes cast shady half-moons over his cheekbones. He smiled and I felt my heartbeat speed up. A quick assessment of his outfit made me smile. In his white sweater and blue shirt beneath it, denim jeans that hung loosely around his hips and white and blue Nike's; he matched my outfit perfectly. If we had planned it we wouldn't have gotten it this right. I walked towards him with steady steps and Uncle Seth turned to look at me too.

"Well look at you! You sure you don't need a bat with you to fend off the rest of the guys, Christian?" he joked lightly, beaming down at me.

"I think I got it covered Mr. Clearwater. You ready?" he hadn't taken his eyes off of me the whole time.

I nodded mutely and waved a goodbye at Uncle Seth. I thought I heard him mutter something about young love and crazy kids, but I wasn't quite sure. I was too captivated by the fact that Christian had my hand in his larger one, leading me towards a shiny black Nissan Titan. It was a little high for me to get in and I contemplated jumping, before his hands circled my hips and helped me inside the passenger seat. I thought he let them linger there for a moment, but it could've been my overactive imagination. I smiled shyly and muttered a 'thanks'. His answering smile was blinding.

He jumped in the driver seat and put the car on reverse, speeding away from the house. The only sound in the car was the soft music playing from some random radio station. For some reason I didn't feel uncomfortable around him and that was baffling. Usually I'm the shyest person alive and I'm never this comfortable around people I haven't known for long. I surprised myself even more when I relaxed further when he took my hand in his, the one that wasn't on the steering wheel, and started drawing circles with his thumb on my skin. It felt almost _natural_ for him to do that.

He pulled up in front of a small, cozy-looking café somewhere in Forks. It was nestled in the tree line, but it was hard to miss it. There were umbrellas and a few tables outside with some heaters around so they wouldn't freeze to death. But the interior just took my breath away. The walls were painted a beautiful shade of caramel and there were all sorts of artwork on the walls; replicas of paintings. I recognized Mona Lisa, Girl with the Pearl Earring, some of Van Gogh and various others I didn't know of. The floor was covered in a thick brown carpet that muted the sound of our footsteps as he led me towards a table by the window, in a corner. The booth seats were plush and very comfortable. _This place is perfect for first dates_; I thought to myself and smiled a little.

He sat on the seat opposite of me and smiled. And then everything just came natural. When the waitress came over we said our order at the same time; two grande café lattes. It made us smile at each other and we started a conversation about our favorite drinks, which eventually led to sharing our favorite foods, favorite books, favorite TV shows, favorite _everything_. Then we started discussing childhood stories and we laughed at the ridiculous things we did when we were kids. I found it strange that he laughed at my stories.

_Because Raphael never laughed when I shared them with him_.

I casted all thoughts about him out of my mind and listened to Christian as he continued on the conversation about our families. He told me every little detail about his brothers and their stupidness sometimes, like when they had ruined Los's first date with his current girlfriend. Thankfully both of them didn't get mad at them for it, but instead laughed at it and now it was a story they told at family dinners and it still sent them all into fits of laughter. It made me laugh too.

"Wanna get out of here? Since there's still light outside, how about a walk at the beach?" he said long after we had finished our drinks and two blueberry muffins.

"I'd like that" I said and went to reach for my wallet to pay for my coffee.

He beat me to it, throwing a couple of bills on the table and grabbing my wrist before I could get my money out. I glared at him and his answer was a simple shrug and yet another blinding smile. Sighing, I let him lead me out to the car, after waving our goodbye to our waitress. The drive was quiet yet again, and still not uncomfortable. My hand was still in his and I caught him glancing at me more than once. Which also means that _I _was glancing at him too? Well, nobody can blame me. He was a sight to behold.

I left my shoes at the car and rolled up my jeans a little before we left. I also left my bag on my seat too. He left his shoes in the car too and took off his sweater. He looked at me and unrolled the scarf from around my neck. His fingertips accidentally touched my skin and I felt warmth spread out from where he touched me. Smiling, he threw the scarf in the backseat and took my hand again. We started walking along the shoreline. It was peacefully quiet here. I stepped a little closer to the water and let the soft waves hit my legs. It was cold at first, but I got used to it pretty fast.

He started talking again. I mostly listened. He told me about the times when he would come to the beach with his family when they were kids and his dad would give them swimming lessons. And when they got older, they went cliff diving with his dad, his mom watching them from the beach below. From his tone, I got that he had a tender spot for him mom for some reason. It was obvious that he loved her so much. That's one thing we had in common; we loved our mom's to death.

I found myself opening up and telling him about how I'd never met my dad. My mom didn't have any boyfriends after she had me, but I never felt like I needed a father in my life, though it worried mom sometimes that I didn't have one. Still, she taught me everything and raised me on her own and I think she did a pretty good job. I told him how I never really _wanted_ to know who the man my mom made me with was; mom was everything I needed in my life and she was pretty cool with me. She was more than my mom; she was my best friend.

He listened. He _really_ listened. He didn't say anything; he just gave my hand a gentle squeeze, just something for me to know that he was there. The peaceful atmosphere around us, the soft sound of the waves hitting the shore and the warmth his body emitted made me feel slightly sleepy. I didn't protest when we sat down on a log. Instead, I leaned against his side, closing my eyes briefly. His arm went around me, his hand resting on my waist and we sat there, staring off into the ocean.

I think I must've dozed off at some point because I woke up to someone warm carrying me someplace. I opened my eyes and looked up at Christian who smiled softly back at me. He set me down on the car seat gently. I yawned and stretched a bit as he jogged to the other side and jumped in the car. Moving a little slower than usual, I slipped my shoes on and wrapped my scarf around my neck again, before glancing at the mirror to check my hair. It had slipped out of the ponytail, so I just pulled the band off of them and let them fall around my shoulders like a curtain.

"I really hope you enjoyed yourself today" he said after a while, his voice a little quieter and more timid.

"I actually did" I said, smiling lazily at him. "Sorry I fell asleep on you and you had to carry me"

"You're as light as a feather to me" he smiled over at me. "I don't mind really. But I really thought I might've bored you with my ramblings"

"Hey, I rambled just as much as you did!" I protested, sitting up straight. "And you weren't rambling. I actually like talking to you"

"Me too" he said softly, bringing the car to a stop in front of Uncle Seth's house. "Maybe we can do it again sometime soon"

"I'd like that" I said, hiding behind my hair shyly again.

He got out of the car and jogged to my side to open the door. His hands went on my waist and he helped me down. For a second there, I stood trapped between his body and the truck, his face only inches away from mine and it occurred to me that this way we were hidden from the house in case anybody was peeking through the window. I felt my heartbeat race and he smiled, as if he could hear it. I felt heat fly on my face and I bit my lip.

His hand came up and cupped my cheek. His thumb brushed across my bottom lip, untucking it from under my teeth. And then he leaned down swiftly and brushed his lips against mine once, twice, three times. My hands acted with a mind of their own, going against his waist as I pressed our lips together more firmly before pulling back to look at him. Was I the only one that saw sparks flying between us?

He smiled down at me through hooded eyes and he looked impossibly sexy at that moment. As he pressed our lips together again, my eyes fluttered closed softly and I kissed him back hesitantly at first. His hands moved my arms around his neck, before they rested on my hips, pulling me impossibly closer to him. My whole body was humming and it felt _so right_ for him to be kissing me like that right there.

He pulled back only when the need for oxygen became too much for either one of us to bear. I rested my forehead on his chest, trying to catch my breath. I pulled back slightly to look in his eyes. He was smiling crookedly at me and I found myself smiling back at him.

"I need to take you inside before Seth comes looking for you" he said and he sounded disappointed to no end.

"You're probably right, though I think mom will beat him to it" I hoped I didn't sound just as disappointed, but from the look in his eyes I probably did.

I pulled to the side for him to slam the passenger door shut. He took my hand again as we started walking towards the house. I was smiling way too much, I could feel it. I fished the keys out of my purse and turned to him. He leaned again and pecked my lips once.

"Goodnight beautiful" he murmured before turning around and walking back to his car.

I opened the door and got inside quickly before I leaned back against it. I bit my lip as I replayed the last five minutes in my head. I felt like jumping up and down like a kid in Christmas morning, screaming in the top of my lungs and running around in circles, all at the same time. Mom shot me a curious look from her place on the couch, where she was snuggled in a blanket and reading a book by the fireplace.

"Do I really have to ask if you had a good time?" she raised her eyebrows at me with a small smile.

"Nope!" I squealed, falling down on the couch and sighing. "It was perfect. The café he took me to was absolutely lovely and then we went to the beach and we were talking and then I fell asleep and then he brought me home"

"Sounds nice" she commented, eyeing my messy hair and flushed face. "Anything else I should know?"

"We're going out again sometime soon" I said, deciding to keep our kiss to myself.

I got up and kissed her on the cheek before going to the kitchen. There was a basket full of peanut butter cookies sitting on the table. Grandma and Alex had laid out a lot of magazine papers, guest lists and whatnot on the counter and they were going through them. Uncle Seth was nowhere in sight. I grabbed two biscuits and went up to my room, deciding to take a long hot shower and call it a night.

Fifteen minutes later, I was in my pg.'s and snuggled up in bed, replaying my whole day again in my head. Still thinking about him, I fell asleep.


	4. Secrets ruin everything

Mom finally found us a home in the reservation. It was large for La Push standards; a two story red brick house with two fireplaces; one in the living room and the other in my bedroom. The living room was massive, the large stone fireplace taking over a third of the wall, with two large windows with heavy dark red curtains on each side of it. Mom had bought a new brown carpet and laid it out in front of it and our old couch was replaced by a large brown leather sofa and two matching loveseats. The kitchen was large too, with brand new stainless steel applications, bright yellow walls and dark cherry wood counters and cupboards, and even a table with ten chairs around it. I could imagine mom fussing around in there with grandma, making cookies and whatnot.

What I loved most about the new house though, was my bedroom. Paul and the guys had stopped by earlier this week and helped me paint the walls rose pink and move the furniture around. The double bed was pushed against the wall that was against the window and Rachel had made me a new pink patchwork duvet for it. The desk and matching chair was also pushed against the wall, next to my ginormous closet. The vanity table was against the opposite wall, next to the stereo and my stack of CDs. The wall opposite my bed was taken by a large window with a window seat that had white tapestry over it and mom had placed a lot of fluffy colorful pillows on it, making it more comfortable. Uncle Seth had bought me a bookshelf and placed it next to it, for me to fill with my favorite books to read whenever I felt like it.

I walked over and touched the white lace curtains I had hung on the window two days ago. It was too high for me to reach and Christian had lifted me up. I thought it was impossible for anyone to lift me, but he made it seem as if I was as light as a feather. I still remember the boyish smile he gave me when I looked down at him in surprise. And when he set me down he gave me a kiss that made my knees give out beneath me.

I can't really explain the way he makes me feel, or _why_ I feel that way towards him. I just know that everything's going to be okay if he's there, like he's the only thing that makes my world happy and safe. He makes my heart flutter when he holds my hand or when he drapes his arm across my shoulder. Tonight, we're going to Port Angeles to watch Paranormal Activity 4 and then dinner. It's our second official date and I'm getting butterflies in my stomach and all that jazz.

I walked over to my stereo and turned it on, linking it to my IPod and clicking on my Favorites Playlist. _Love me love me_ by Big Time Rush came up first and, as usual, I started dancing to it as I walked to my closet. He would be here in about an hour and I had to get ready. I had already curled my hair and did a side part to the left, pulling my bangs to the side with a few bobby pins. I sighed as I went over my clothes, pulling out several pieces before putting them back in. Nothing seemed okay to me. Nibbling on my lip, I pulled out a pair of grey leggings and a pink long sleeved knit dress. I pulled out a grey-long sleeved undershirt and put it beneath the dress. I liked the contrast between the colors and I think it looked okay. I put on my brand new grey UGGs, a gift from grandma since my old ones were damaged, and went to do my makeup.

Mom popped in and sat on my bed, flipping through one of my magazines while she bobbed her head to the beat of the music. At some point she started muttering the lyrics and I found it funny that my mom would actually know the lyrics to _This Kiss_ by Carly Rae Jepsen. Regardless, I found myself mouthing them too. It was a catchy song anyway.

I was more careful with my makeup this time. I used a dark grey eyeshadow to line my upper lids with the help of an angled brush, winging it out in the end and using a small brush to defuse the color. I was opting for a softer look than last time and even a bit more romantic. I used a lot of mascara on my upper lash line, wanting my lashes to be darker and thicker than last time. I added some clear lip gloss that tasted like toffee and picked up my purse, throwing my stuff in it, before I plopped down on the bed next to mom. She looked at me, assessing my outfit and makeup before she smiled at me.

"How are things going between you and Christian?" she asked, seemingly indifferently, but I could tell she really wanted to smile.

"I think I might really like him. Like falling for him-like him" I said quietly, pulling my knees to my chest. "But I haven't known him for long; we've only been on one date. Shouldn't I wait months before I actually fall in love with him?"

"Honey, from what I know from experience, love doesn't wait" she sighed before looking at me. "All I need you to do right now is not rush this. Just go with the flow. Don't stress it. Everything will fall into place"

"I sure hope so. Mommy, I really think I might be falling in love with him" I whispered. "I just… I don't know. I've spent the last, what? Eight months? Since my breakup, I've been thinking that love is just something fools made up, that it doesn't really exist"

"Raphael was your first love. But, honey, people fall in and out of love every day. He was your first love, but that never meant that you would never love another" she smiled softly, tucking my hair behind my ear. "I know how that feels, trust me. I've been like that once. And you're handling it way better than I did and I'm _glad_ you're starting to trust guys again. Not all are going to hurt you"

"Because if he does, we'll kick his ass" Uncle Seth's voice made us both jump and then giggle.

He smiled big at me, showing off his dimples. I don't think I will ever get over the contrast between the way he looks and the way he really is. He appears to be the kind of guy that will have a rather nasty temper and would beat up anyone that dared cross him, but inside he was a real teddy bear. He didn't have a temper from what I've gathered and he never talked bad about anyone.

"Your date is here" he said and I jumped up, fixing my hair quickly in the mirror, before grabbing my bag and rushing out of the room.

He waited for me at the foot of the stairs. He looked so hot in jeans and a white t-shirt beneath a leather jacket; my own bad boy. He smiled when he saw me and took my hand the minute I was within touching range. Quietly, we walked outside and into his car. He hadn't released my hand yet, not even as he turned on the stereo. We made small talk for the first five minutes. Then, we continued from where we had stopped last time we saw each other. The discussion topic was favorite books.

We shared a love over all Harry Potter books, but he hated Vampire Diaries, unlike me. I had been pleasantly surprised when he told me he had read Bram Stocker's _Dracula _and actually enjoyed it. Then we started talking about music, again agreeing that Aerosmith was the best band ever. He wasn't thrilled about One Direction like I was, but he agreed that they didn't exactly suck either. I didn't get what the fascination with JLo was either; I wasn't exactly a fan, though he adored her songs. He rolled his eyes when I told him that one of my favorite songs was Justin Bieber's _Fall_ and I rolled mine when he said his favorite song was _S.E.X _by Nickelback.

We didn't stop talking until we reached the movie theater. People on the street were glancing at us with knowing smiles and for a second there, I contemplated the image of the completely in love couple we were giving off. But, as he draped his arm across my shoulders and led me inside, I simply stopped caring about anything other than him. I frowned when he paid for my ticket and snacks, after he had stopped me from getting my wallet to pay for him and we had a mini-argument about what he were doing, causing the cashier to laugh at us. But either way, I didn't feel comfortable with him paying for everything all the time.

"You're my girl and I want to take care of you. So, please, bear with it" he said with a smile, before leaning down to kiss my nose.

Nonetheless, that little comment shut me up completely. I shook my head and followed him to our seats. We sat in the back seats, where all the couples were sitting, and continued our discussion, quieter than before. We fell quiet as the movie started though. I sipped my brown pop slowly as the story progressed, not really impressed by what was going on. Though cuddling him was a pro in scary movies. I pretended that I was scared and he was the protective boyfriend that would hug me to him to comfort me. I liked it a little too much, but can you really blame a girl?

We end up leaving before the end of the movie. We weren't really paying much attention to it. We start walking around the streets, joking about this and that and laughing and it just feels so right. Music plays from a store nearby as rain starts pouring down. Instead of ducking for cover, we lean towards each other slowly, savoring our very own kiss in the rain. It's so cliché, so much like a romance novel. It makes me smile against his lips. And finally my brain caught up to the song that's playing.

_Come and save me tonight  
You're the reason I live  
You're the reason I die  
You're the reason I give when I break down and cry  
Don't need no reason why  
Baby, baby, baby  
You're my angel  
Come and save me tonight_

Smiling at each other, we walk in a slow pace towards the sidewalk, soaking wet. We held hands as we walked inside a small restaurant, taking a seat in one of the booths near the window. He ordered for the both of us, not even giving a second glance to the pretty brunette waitress that came over to greet us. He stared at me like I was the only thing that mattered.

Our personal bubble was burst when the door opened again. It took one glance towards that direction for him to freeze and his hands to tighten in firsts. I turned around and looked. I thought I heard him growl; a sound too animalistic to be human.

The newcomers were devastatingly beautiful; a young couple in their early twenties. The man was tall and lean, yet muscular and strong-looking. His messy bronze hair was moist from the rain outside and everything about him was perfect; his nose was straight, his skin alabaster white and flawless, his jaw and characteristics perfectly chiseled. The woman next to him was a gorgeous brunette, with long mahogany brown hair that fell down her back in soft waves and dark topaz eyes, much similar to the man's. They both turned towards us, stiffening just as Christian had.

"What's going on?" I asked him in a small voice.

"We need to get home. Now" he stood up abruptly.

"What happened?" I furrowed my brow as he grabbed a hold of my wrist and pulled me along.

The bronze haired man was staring at me intently, as if he was seeing something he didn't like at all. I paid no mind to him and his companion as he rushed me out of the restaurant. He helped me into his car, as usual, but his movements were urgent and jerky, as if he was both pissed off and concerned. And the most worrying fact; his whole form was vibrating.

He drove out of there as if all hell had just broken loose. We were home in less than an hour, which we had spent in silence. He pulled over in front of the house and went straight to Uncle Seth, who was sitting in the living room with mom. He said something quietly to them and they all stiffened. It was all too confusing for me. Mom's eyes darted towards me worriedly, something that made no sense at all.

"Christian" I was surprised by the ferocity laced with my voice. "Are you going to explain what the hell happened back there?"

"Cassie, I really can't right now. We need to get to Jacob" he said calmly and I felt as if I was just brushed off like a child.

It was a feeling I did not like at all. They knew something major and they were leaving me out of it on purpose. He turned his back to me and started talking quietly with Uncle Seth, who had stood up. Trying real hard not to throw a tantrum and probably prove to him that I was indeed a child, and a brat for that fact, I rushed past them and up the stairs. Once inside my room, I slammed the door shut and threw everything on the bed.

I wanted to rage. I wanted to break things. I was pissed off at him. He didn't trust me. Neither did mom or Uncle Seth. I took a deep breath to stop myself from screaming out loud. But I needed something to take out my energy on. And I had nothing. I would combust any second now.

Knocking on my door interrupted my angry mental rambling. I didn't answer. I walked towards my bed, taking off my shoes and dress as I went and I fell face down on it, growling into my pillow. The knocking continued, but I was too pissed off at any of them to answer it.

_He even ruined our second date_.

It was a shallow thought, but I couldn't help it. Everything was going perfectly well between the two of us and I swear I could see sparks flying between us. The way he looked at me made me feel special. And it was all ruined because of a beautiful couple that was probably out on a date, just as we were before he screwed up everything. Hot tears started streaming down my face before I could stop them. I wiped my cheeks and went to take a quick shower, hoping for some sort of relief from the stress.

I braided my hair in two French braids and fifteen minutes later, I was sitting on the window seat with a book and the stereo turned on as loud as it went, with my bedroom door locked. I wrapped myself in a blanket and continued reading this awesome new book I got called _Clockwork Angel_. Concentrating on that was easy. It helped me forget.

_In these promises broken deep below  
Each word gets lost in the echo  
So one last lie I can see through  
This time I finally let you go, go, go.  
No you can tell them all now  
I don't back up, I don't back down  
I don't fold up and I don't bow down  
I don't roll over, don't know how  
I don't care where the enemies are  
Can't be stopped, all I know; go hard  
Won't forget how I got this far_

Sounds crazy probably, but the song slowly lulled me to sleep. I barely registered the book dropping from my hand as I fell down on the pillows on the window seat. It was comfortable, but minutes later I felt someone pick me up. My eyes snapped open and I realized that the stereo had been turned off. I looked up and found myself staring in Christian's eyes.

"Put me down" my voice didn't come out as strong as I intended for it.

He set me down on my bed gently. I wanted to be mad at him and I was to one extent. But for some reason, I couldn't hit him and yell at him like I wanted to. I couldn't hurt him, though I wanted so much to do so. I rolled to my side, turning my back to him as I pulled the covers around me tightly.

"Cassie" his voice was soft and gentle.

I felt the bed dip behind me and my body froze in response. My heartbeat accelerated and I didn't know what to do right now.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked quietly and he sounded a little vulnerable to me.

"Yes" I whispered so quietly I didn't think he had heard me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be as harsh as I was. But… it was a shock seeing Bella and Edward there and despite how they look like, they really are dangerous people"

Bella? That name sounded familiar. The memory of mom telling me of Jacob Black's story was brought to the forefront of my mind. That was Isabella Swan; the one that broke Jacob's heart in a thousand pieces when she chose another guy over him and then later tumbled over the pieces after he had helped her and her new family.

"I thought she was gone" I said, barely turning my head to look at him. "I thought she left with her family shortly after the trouble ended for them"

"That's what we thought too, but apparently they've come back" his expression darkened.

"You said they're dangerous. Why?" I asked, finally turning around.

He sighed heavily.

"It's not my place to tell you. I literarily can't. But I can promise that I will soon. Just not now?" he sounded pleading, almost begging.

"Okay" I said softly and turned back to my side.

With another heavy sigh, he left. I stared at the door for a few seconds before I closed my eyes, seeking rest.


	5. When you love, you forgive

_You're an outsider. I don't care if your mother is Quileute. You're not, you're a mutt and you don't belong here. _

Her words had stung a lot. She had whispered them to me last night at the bonfire. I don't know if anyone else had heard her. I didn't tell mom; she would start a fight. I didn't tell grandma or anyone else; they wouldn't believe me. You know why? Because Ivy Evelyn Uley is an angel to them.

Today I saw her with Christian at the beach. They were walking together and she was smiling flirtatiously at him, twirling her hair around her finger cutely. She was a pretty thing; petite and with a body any runway model would envy. Her hair reached the small of her back and they fell glossy and thick in gentle waves. And she had those huge, seemingly innocent brown eyes and adorable dimples that made the guys around her go protective.

The worse part? She knew _everything _nobody would tell me. And her words kept repeating in my head, making my heart hurt even more. Mom was worried. She kept glancing at me oddly as I pushed my food around my plate. Don't get me wrong; Rachel's food is awesome, but I wasn't hungry at all. Christian wasn't there either, but I bet every last penny I had he was at Ivy's, doing God knows what. My suspicions were confirmed when the door opened and he came in, looking as sexily disheveled and distracted.

"Excuse me" I said hurriedly and fled right past him and out the door.

I couldn't stand being in the same room as him. I heard mom call out to me but I ignored her and kept going. I found the path leading down to the beach easily. It was fairly quiet and I thought that I was alone. I let the tears fall, but I tried real hard not to sob. I finally reached the cliffs and hit behind a large boulder. It had become my usual hiding spot lately; nobody could see me from behind it and nobody was petite enough to walk across the edge and slid in the dent on its side. I had checked it and it was safe enough for just me to be there. It could fit one more person, but I used that space as safety space. I didn't feel comfortable being so close to the edge either way.

I allowed myself to cry one more time. And her words repeated themselves in my head once more, making me hug my knees to my chest and hide my face on the crook of my elbow. The look on her face when she said those things; I had never seen such malice and hatred in one person before. I didn't deal with hatred well, ever. Especially when I really didn't deserve it.

"Cassie?" I recognized Jacob's voice.

I looked up and saw him peeking through the edge of the rock, leaning forward slightly. He looked at me with a concerned face, examining my red and puffy eyes and sad expression. I probably looked like a mess too. I hadn't bothered to do something other than roll my hair in a hair donut today, wear the baggiest pair of boyfriend jeans and an old V-neck long-sleeved t-shirt. I just wasn't in the mood to take care of myself.

"Hey" I managed to get out with a barely there smile.

His eyebrows knit together and he held out his hand in a silent request for me to go with him. I sighed and got up, dusting off my jeans. I took his hand and he helped me cross over. I tripped over a rock and would've fallen over if it hadn't been for him gripping my arm.

"Thanks" I mumbled, pulling back shyly.

"Your mom said you took off rather fast. They're looking everywhere for you" he said, sitting down on a fallen log.

He patted the spot next to him, indicating for me to sit down next to him. I plopped down and stared away into the ocean. The waves crashed violently against the rocks beneath us and the water level down at the beach had rose slightly. The dark clouds indicated that a storm was heading this way.

"What's wrong?" he asked gently.

I turned my head and glanced at Jacob. Though he should be around my mom's age, he didn't look a day over twenty four. His face was smooth, with no wrinkles at all. His hair were pitch black and cropped short. He was at least six feet two and his arms were five times the size of mine. And that's really saying something about his muscles. He looked like a guy that could lift a car or punch holes through a wall.

But right now, he was actually someone I felt like I could talk to. Mom said he had helped her. So, maybe he could help me too.

"I'm a little… _upset_ over something someone said last night" I said quietly, fumbling a bit with my sleeves.

"What did they say?" he started to actually look upset.

"That I'm an outsider" I said in a tiny voice. "That it doesn't matter that my mom is Quileute; I'm a mutt and I don't belong here"

"It's Ivy isn't it?" his eyes had narrowed to slits.

I nodded silently and continued fidgeting with my sleeves, trying to hold back my tears again. He might not get it, but it was actually a big deal for me to hear these things, especially when I actually felt like it. I mean, after last week… I still don't know if I made the right choice by telling mom we could stay here instead of going to Cali again.

"Come here" Jacob muttered, pulling me to his side and hugging me tightly.

I hid my face in his shoulder and bit my lip. I didn't want to get his shirt all wet with my tears. And either way, I had to stop crying my heart out at some point.

"You really can't let her get you down. She's been the only girl in the group before you came along. She's used to everybody being protective of her and her alone. She can't stand the competition and things got personal after you got together with Christian" he said.

Just his name made me pull away and wrap my arms around myself. I felt oddly empty when I thought of him. Because he wasn't there anymore.

"We're not together and I don't think we ever were" I whispered, looking away into the distance again.

"You remind me of an old friend of mine when you do that" he smiled sadly. "Has mom told you about Bella?"

"The girl that broke your heart when she got married to the other guy… yeah, mom told me some of the story" I sat cross-legged on the log and waited for him to continue.

He was silent for a long moment. He seemed as if he was trying to gather his thoughts and put them in an order, so he could say his story right. I waited patiently because, to tell you the truth, I loved listening to other people's stories, especially when their problems seemed similar to mine.

"Before I share my memories of her with you, you need to understand something about her _husband_" he sounded as if the word brought a nasty flavor in his mouth. "Edward Cullen and his family are beautiful people, inhumanly so. They're like poisonous flowers; they lure their pray in with a beautiful and colorful appearance, but really they end up killing them"

_They really are dangerous people_. Christian said that.

"Bella came back to Forks at seventeen, after her mother remarried and decided to hit the road with her husband. She came to Forks and met Edward. The rest is the usual story. She ended up falling in love with him. But then, he decided to leave after an incident on her birthday. She was broken, to say the least" Jacob wasn't here with me anymore; he seemed to be entirely lost in his memories. "I was there to pick up the pieces of her heart and slowly put it back together. I was very stupid back then; I honestly thought I loved her as something more than just my best friend. So I helped her cope. She healed little by little every day. I made her smile again since after he had left"

He stopped and looked away into the ocean.

"But then, I had to stand up to my duties for the tribe. I couldn't involve Bella into them; it was forbidden. So I tried to distance her from me, but she was stubborn. She managed to break through again and come into my life as a part of it, now. I thought we could be together, really, if she would just let go of Edward" he sighed heavily. "I told you she was stubborn. One day she went cliff diving alone. I saved her from drowning. That day, Edward's sister Alice came back to check up on how Bella was doing, per say. Edward was in trouble and they needed Bella to help save him. She took off to Italy"

"Italy?" my eyes widened in surprise.

"He got in trouble with the same guys that came back to cause trouble for them later" he shrugged. "I don't know what transpired exactly. All I know is after she came back, they did too and she chose him over me once again, even after what he had put her through. But the image of her wrapping her arms around herself tightly, as if she would fall apart just thinking about him, will forever stay in my mind" he smiled sadly at me. "You remind me of her when you do that"

I made a small grimace when I realized that I was still doing it. I was holding myself together; much like a younger Bella would've been doing back then. Slowly, I unwrapped my arms from around my stomach and laid them down on my lap.

"Am I really that attracted to Christian, as Bella was to Edward?" I whispered, mostly to myself.

"That's an answer that I can't give you. But I can tell you this; Christian's as much attracted to you as you are to him. Never doubt that" he said with a small smile.

"How can I not doubt it when he's always with Ivy?" I had blurted the words out before I could stop myself.

"So you admit that you're a little jealous of that?" he raised his eyebrows in question. "Because you have nothing to worry about. Though Ivy's got a little crush on Christian, he sees her as nothing more than his little sister, at most"

"You can't know that" I muttered, just as the first raindrop hit my cheek.

We both turned towards the sky. As if on cue, the rain started pouring down on the both of us. We exchanged a glance and started laughing. He pulled me up and we started running up the path. Still laughing, we got back to our house that wasn't far from Paul's place. Mom, grandma, Paul, Rachel and the guys were all standing in our living room. All eyes snapped on us as soon as we were in the house.

I felt a little uncomfortable, especially when I realized that I was holding onto Jacob's arm. I let go subtly as my mom pulled me in a hug.

"Are you alright?" she muttered worriedly, checking my face and soaked clothes.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just… need to go put on some dry clothes" I said quickly, drawing away.

Looking at anyone, I made my way to my bedroom hurriedly, pulling off my soaked t-shirt as soon as I was inside. I walked in the bathroom, stripping off my clothes as I went and closing the door behind me. I took a quick shower and went back to my room. Feeling refreshed, I dried and combed my hair, pulling them back in a ponytail before dressing in a pair of leggings and a red oversized Wolves hoodie. I pulled on my brand new black UGGs and walked back into the living room hurriedly.

To my surprise I found everybody still standing. Jacob and Christian were right in the middle of our living room, staring each other down. You could practically feel the tension in the room. It was only then I realized there was a smaller figure amongst Tyler, Los, Ash and PJ; Ivy. I felt the familiar pang of jealousy and hurt on my chest and my pace almost faltered._ What the hell is she doing here?_ I took a deep breath before joining mom.

Jacob glanced at me and smiled before mumbling an excuse that he was soaked and he had to go. I waved goodbye and mom saw him out, leaving me momentarily alone with everyone else. Ivy was standing on my left side. She turned and shot me a superior glance and mouthed the word 'outsider' to me. Nobody was looking at her anyway. I kept my face neutral. However, I couldn't stay in the same room with the both of them. So I escaped to the kitchen.

I didn't hear him walk up behind me, especially when the chatter in the living room started again, slowly. I turned my back to the doorway for one second to pour myself a glass of water and when I turned back around he was standing just a breath away from me. I let out a small squeak of surprise and stepped back against the counter.

"What were you doing with Jacob?" he demanded forcefully.

He looked vicious and it scared me to an extent. I gulped as I stared at him through wide eyes.

"Tell me" he said again, leaning closer with his hands on either side of me against the counter. "Now"

"We were just talking" I whispered, pulling further back away from him.

"About?" he growled low in his chest.

"That's none of your concern" I said quietly, looking away from him.

His hand came up and cupped my jaw, forcing me to look at him. He was so close that I could feel the heat his body emitted and it reminded me so much of last week. I wanted to run away and at the same time pull him as close to me as humanly possible. Instead of doing any of those, I stayed still as his eyes bore into mine intensely.

"Anything about you is my concern" he said finally, releasing my face.

"Why?" I asked loudly. "You're certainly not my dad or brother and you are not my boyfriend either. So, please explain how anything about me is _your_ concern?"

And then the world around us evaporated as his lips met mine in a demanding kiss. He drew me closer to him, much like I wanted to do before, holding me against his body tightly, as if he was afraid I would disappear any second now. My knees buckled beneath me and I was glad he was holding me like that.

"Christian, what-oh!" Ivy's shrill voice made us jump apart, destroying our bubble completely.

"Ivy, give us a moment, will ya?" he snapped irritably at her.

"But-"

"Leave!" he snarled at her, barely looking over.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she stormed out of the kitchen angrily, stomping off into the living room.

"Now you've upset her" I noted in a small voice.

"I don't care" he said angrily. "I don't care about Ivy or anyone else. I need you to forgive me because honestly, I'm going mad without you"

I bit my lip and drew back slightly again. He wouldn't let me out of his reach, though. In truth, I felt hopelessly lost without him too. It was like he was the oxygen I needed to breathe. I just couldn't function properly without him.

"If you really don't care about her, then why are you spending so much time with her?" I asked quietly.

"You're jealous of _Ivy_?" his eyebrows knit together. "We're just friends. Nothing more"

"And I'm just friends with Jacob" I snapped, with a newfound burst of confidence. "_Nothing more_"

I'm using his own words against him. I knew he was jealous; I could see it in his eyes. He didn't know he had no reason to, he didn't know that Jacob was backing him up really. He didn't know how much I really liked him. He didn't know how much it hurt to see him with Ivy, someone who was prettier and more suitable for him than I would ever be.

"Cassie" he whispered and his thumb swiped moisture from my cheek.

I hadn't realized I had started crying. But once one fell, another followed it. He whispered something that sounded pretty close to "come here" and tucked me against his chest, while his arms wrapped tightly around me.

"I'm sorry" he whispered against my hair. "Please, please, please, please forgive me. I don't want to see you cry; I never meant to. I hate that I've hurt you"

"Promise me you'll explain _everything_ soon?" my voice was muffled against the fabric of his hoodie and for a moment, I thought he hadn't heard me.

"Soon" he said quietly, placing a kiss on the top of my head.

Sighing softly, I closed my eyes and snuggled further against him. It felt nice. I barely registered Ivy walking back to the kitchen saying that everybody is wondering where we are in an irritated tone. I gently extracted myself from him. He gripped my hand tightly in his with a smile and we walked past her and into the living room. I don't k now if he saw her, but I could _feel_ her glaring daggers at my back.

If looks could kill, I'd be a pile of ash at her feet right now.


	6. Maybe we're meant to be

_So I'll sing this song to you for the last time  
And my heart is torn in two  
Thinking of days spent without you  
And there is nothing left to prove  
I'm counting all the things I could've done  
To make you see that I wanted us to be  
What I go to sleep and dream of_

"Here again?" Jacob's voice brought me out of my musings.

I didn't turn around. This would be the second time he'd find me here, in my little hideout up in the cliffs, crying again over my own insecurities. But tell me, wouldn't any girl be insanely jealous and insecure if they had been informed that their boyfriend was with a girl that hated her, spending time together _alone_ at the beach? Of course, Ash had no idea that he was twisting a knife into my heart when he told me that Christian was down at the beach with Ivy and that he had no idea when they'd come back.

I left again, leaving the plate of cookies mom sent to Rachel on the kitchen counter. I walked down the path that led here, putting my headphones over my ears. From where I was, I could see the beach clearly and my eyes involuntarily zeroed on the two figures walking down the shoreline, close enough that could be passed as just one person. It wasn't hard to imagine who they were; there wasn't anybody else there and the weather was cloudy and rainy today; nobody other than them would go there.

_And if you are alone, make sure you're not lonely  
Cause if you are, I blame myself for never being home  
I know I'm not the only one who will treat you like they should  
What you deserve_

"Cassie?" Jacob sounded genuinely concerned.

"I'm fine" I lied through clenched teeth and changed the song on my IPod. "Really, it's nothing. I just needed some time alone to think and clear my head"

With a steady leap, he was on my side of the boulder. He plopped down next to me, leaning as further against the rock as he could to avoid being dangerously close to the edge. I hadn't realized how cold it was until Jacob got near me. He was incredibly warm; more so than Christian actually. Unconsciously, I leaned a bit against him, looking for warmth. He drew me in closer, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.

"Don't you find it weird that you always seem to appear when I'm feeling depressed?" I asked, looking up at him with raised eyebrows.

"Your mom sent me looking for you" he said, looking at me with serious eyes. "You're worrying her. Or, I guess, the whole hot and cold between you and Christian is worrying her. If you don't feel like talking to your family, know that I'm here if you'd like a third person to listen"

"You were here last time too" I muttered. "Jacob, how did you cope after Bella left with Edward?"

He drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"I'm not going to lie to you; it was hard and painful at most. Bella… I don't know why I felt so strong about her, even though it's clear to me that she was never meant for me" he shrugged his shoulders. "But after a lot of thinking about it, I finally came to my senses. Your mom had a lot to do with that, by the way. First time I left, was after Leah decided to talk some sense into me. I didn't want to listen to her back then, but then I started thinking about her words. And I realized she was more than right"

"What did she say?" a small smile formed on my lips, knowing that mom had been as blunt as ever with him.

"I don't remember her _exact_ words, but I think it was somewhere between the lines of '_Bella's a bitch, she doesn't deserve all this, get over her already'_" he chuckled quietly to himself. "The point was, she was right. Maybe you need someone to talk some sense into you, too"

I looked down at the beach. The two figures were gone now. I hadn't realized they had left already. Jacob followed my eyes to the, now deserted, beach.

"I saw them as I was coming up here" he said softly. "Is that what made you upset?"

"He said he didn't care about her as much as he cared about me. He said they're just friends. I want to believe him _so much_ but honestly, I can't find it in myself, because I know that she doesn't see it that way. In her mind, she called dibs on Christian since before I came here and she thinks he belongs to her" I said in one breath. "If Christian and she were together, I would've taken the blame, but they weren't. In my mind, I didn't do anything bad, but she _hates_ me because Christian asked me out. And I can't deal with that because nobody would take my side, especially her parents; she's an angel to all of them and I'm just an outsider that doesn't really fit in here-"

"You're not an outsider" he cut me off sternly. "She only said that to hurt you and from what you're telling me, she got to you with that. But I'm telling you; you're family and you _do_ belong here"

"Thanks Jake" I whispered with a thankful smile. "You have no idea how much I _needed_ to hear that"

"Any time, kiddo" he said gently.

After a minute of silent, I decided to go for the kill and ask the question that's been buzzing around my head since he mentioned how mom _talked some sense into him_.

"Jacob?" I started tentatively.

"Yeah?" he looked down at me with his eyebrows slightly knitted together.

"Are you into my mom?" I asked bluntly, surprising even myself.

He smiled to himself a bit and then his eyes focused on me.

"What gave me away?" he asked softly.

"It's just… the way you talk about her; like she's someone very special to you. Like, I don't know, you'd do anything to see her happy, or like you'd be more than willing to take a bullet for her" I shrugged my shoulders, trying to play it casual.

"If I tell you that all these things are true, would you say it's a bad thing?" his voice had dropped slightly and he sounded so insecure and _young_, it made me smile reassuringly to him.

"I don't think it's a bad thing. But you have to break through her shell. Mom's too much of a Miss Independent to see what's right under her nose" I chuckled lightly to myself. "She doesn't realize she needs someone to take care of her, too"

"That's always been her problem. She thought she could take the world on her own" he sighed heavily. "I admired that trait in her; how much she seemed to not need anyone other than herself. It annoyed me sometimes that she could be so strong; I wanted some of that strength. But then everything went to hell with the Cullens and she left before I could really get to her"

"She never came back and then she had me" I filled in for him.

"Yeah. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she managed to get through it all. It's admirable how much of a good job she did with raising you. But sometimes, I just wish she'd let us help her instead of saying 'I got it, I got it' all the darn time" he shook his head. "I remember one time when we had called her, I think you were around four months old, and we asked her if she needed one of us to get down there to help around. She said 'no, I'm fine, we're fine, I got it'. And that was it, she wouldn't even _think_ about someone helping her around"

"That's my mom" I sighed softly.

"Yeah. You're a lot like her. You might be a tiny little thing but I bet you if you get angry you'll even make me cower and hide" he laughed.

I couldn't help smiling. Happiness was something that followed Jacob wherever he went, like an aura. I imagined it, surrounding his body like a warm golden glow and I smiled softly as I leaned back against him. Music was still playing softly in my ear, slowly lulling me to sleep. I could barely keep my eyes open. I hadn't been sleeping well for the past few days and the insomnia was catching up to me just now. My eyelids felt heavy and they dropped every now and then. Finally, they closed and I gave up trying to keep them open. I didn't sleep; it was more like resting my eyes.

However, I felt him pick him up. My eyes snapped open and my arms automatically lurched forward, holding onto his shoulders. As if I weighted nothing, he carried me up the path that led to my house. I leaned my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes again, feeling perfectly at peace. If it weren't for that all familiar tug in my chest, everything would be great.

Mom's voice rang in my ears. I ignored her, with barely a frown. A door opened and closed and her hushed voice mingled with Jacob's as she led him to my room. I heard the shuffling of fabric and Jacob set me down on what I thought to be my bed. Someone took off my shoes and I rolled to my side, uncaring for the ear buds that were still in my ears. Covers were pulled over me and the door closed. I was left in the darkness of my room. The soft voices of the boys from Big Time Rush finally lulled me to sleep, but the song remained as a sound, even in my dream.

_But I won't let you fall  
I'll see you through them all  
And I just wanna let you know  
Oh, when the lights go down in the city  
You'll be right there shining bright  
You're a star, the sky's the limit  
And I'll be right by your side_

When I opened my eyes again it was well past midnight. At first, I thought it was my headphones that awakened me; they had fallen out of my ears. As I sat up to put them on my bedside table, I heard a faint tapping on my window. I turned on the lights with a shaking hand and peered outside. Fast as lightening, I rushed over and opened the window once I realized who it was.

"What the hell are you doing?" I whisper-yelled at him. "We're in the second floor, you could've fell down and gotten hurt you b-"

He pulled me close to him and his lips covered mine demandingly. I felt a growl rumble through his chest as my lips started to move against his and the sound both excited and frightened me. He walked us backwards until his knees hit my bed and he sat down, pulling me on his lap.

"Ash said you came looking for me today" he whispered, pulling back to look at me. "But when I came to find you, you weren't anywhere"

"And where were you?" I demanded to know, not liking the accusing tone of his voice.

"I had to talk with Ivy. I had to tell her to keep her distance from me from now on. She needs to understand that I only see her as a friend" from his expression I gathered there was more he wanted to say.

"She has some trouble with that doesn't she?" I asked quietly, fumbling with the sleeve of my sweater.

"I need to tell you before she comes over and gives you a twisted version of what transpired between us" he said equally quietly. "I need you to understand that you're the only girl I'm interested in and I pushed her away as forcefully as I could without causing her bodily harm"

"She kissed you" I made a lucky guess, feeling my insides twist.

"At first he tried to wrap her arms around me. _Then_ she tried to kiss me" he admitted with an almost angry expression. "And I lost my cool with her when she started saying that I don't even know you and that you don't deserve me like she does. I left her alone there and went straight home"

"That's all to it?" I asked, fearful that there was something more he wasn't telling me.

"I swear to God, that's all of it" he said firmly. "I'm not interested in her in that way. You know that right?"

I nodded my head and smiled a bit.

"I was at the cliffs with Jacob. We just _talked_" I said a bit loud seeing as he was about to protest. "He came to find me for my mom. And you really should stop worrying. I'm not the Clearwater he's interested in!"

"Well, that's good to know" he said seriously.

It was then I realized that he was only wearing a pair of denim cut-offs and a grey t-shirt, when it was probably freezing outside. He was so warm; inhumanly so. And his attire reminded me that I was still in my baggy jeans and even baggier sweater. I had to put on my pajamas.

"I need to change. Stay here" I whispered, grabbing my stuff from the closet before disappearing into the bathroom.

It took me five minutes to pull on a pair of grey and blue striped pajama bottoms and a black t-shirt, brush my hair and my teeth, before making my way back into my bedroom. He had made himself comfortable, lying down on my bed and staring at my ceiling. He looked up when I entered.

"Are you planning on spending the night here?" I asked quietly, climbing on the bed next to him.

"Maybe. Why, do you want me to leave?" he sounded worried.

I shook my head and laid my head on his shoulder, draping my arm across his stomach. He exhaled in relief and pulled the covers over us, though his warmth was enough for me. His arm went around me protectively. He played with my hair for a little, until I decided I preferred to talk than sleep right now. I was feeling awake anyway.

So I started firing questions at him about everything we hadn't discussed on our first date, like what he wanted to do with his life, if he planned on going to college soon, if he had a job and all that jazz. He answered every single one of them, sharing his plans of working in his dad's garage for the rest of his life because cars were his passion. He said he didn't need to go to college; he had a job and that was enough for him. And the same questions were fired right back at me and I found myself sharing my dream of going to a community college to get a degree in teaching in primary schools, because I wanted to be a teacher one day.

Then we started sharing our childhood fears, our childhood favorite movies, action figures, clothes food etc. We switched topics to passed relationships and it wasn't awkward like I thought it would be. It turned out there weren't many girls before me, just one or two, and there was only one before him. The slightly awkward part was when he asked _why_ had broken it off with Raphael and I found myself explaining everything to him; how he didn't treat me the way I wanted him to, that he practically ignored me most of the time because I was obviously way too plain and boring for him. At that, he protested sweetly, saying that I was the most unique and interesting person in the world for him. And that earned him a kiss.

He fell asleep long before I did. I could hear his heart beating steadily against his chest. And then an obscure thought occurred to me;_ our hearts beat in sync._ But that couldn't be because it was simply _impossible_.

But then, I brought my hand up and laid it down right above where his heart was and then stayed still to listen. There weren't two heart beats, just one; ours. Two hearts beating at the same time, synchronized. I had never heard of such a thing, but since that moment on, I knew that he and I were meant to be together and no matter how many obstacles rose in our way, we would somehow get through them all and still manage to have one another.

With a faint smile, I fell asleep.


	7. Beauty and the Beast

_I could feel him there. My body melded against his perfectly. I could hear his heart beating in time with mine as my head lay on his bare chest. His fingertips traced random patterns on the fabric of my blouse over my back, making me shiver in delight. I didn't need to look up at his face to know who he was. I knew the feel of him even in my dreams. _

_We talked as if there was no tomorrow. I don't know what about, but his voice rang clear in my head, soothing me completely. And I was so at ease. I had never felt that relaxed and happy before. I knew this was a dream and I never wanted to wake up from it, unless it was for me to wake up by his side and be the first thing he saw when he woke up. _

_Like a murmur, I could hear something like music in the background. Like the old black and white movies. _

**xXx**

The night was really beautiful tonight. One of the rarest cloudless nights in La Push, Washington. Perfect for tonight's bonfire. It was the last one before the wedding too and it was going to be sort of a bachelor/bachelorette party for Uncle Seth and Alex. I had been helping mom and grandma make outrageous amounts of peanut butter cookies, club sandwiches, red velvet cupcakes and chocolate chip muffins. I was tired as hell when we were done and went to take a shower to freshen up a bit before we had to head out.

_When I lose my mind, when I'm a total mess  
I stop as you still think I'm the best  
And love you even when you're a wreck  
Call me crazy, call me a fool  
Call me crazy, baby it's true, but I'm crazy 'bout you  
I'm crazy 'bout you  
You're my silver lining  
You make the light come through_

My bedroom window opened just as I had finished straightening my hair. I put the iron down and turned with a big smile on my face to greet Christian. Something felt off, though. His smile didn't reach his eyes and his mouth was turned slightly downwards. I felt my eyebrows knit together almost involuntarily as I got up and walked closer to him.

"What is it?" I asked softly, reaching up to caress his cheek.

He leaned into my touch like he always did. His eyes captured mine intensely, as if they were searching for something. I prayed that he would find it soon because worry was making my insides twist. Finally, he inhaled deeply.

"I have something I need to show you before the bonfire tonight" he said quietly. "Do you trust me?"

The question caught me off guard. I nodded silently and pulled my UGGs on, before walking back to him. I expected him to lead us both through the door, but instead, he bent his knees and swiftly picked me up. I squeaked and wrapped my arms around his neck tightly. I wasn't used to being manhandled like that. But the really scary part was when he turned towards the window and leaped through it.

The wind whipped my face and I closed my eyes, preparing for the impact with the ground. What on Earth had gotten into him? Was he so eager of getting rid of me he had to barrel both of us through my bedroom window? However, I never hit the ground. I registered a dull thump as we landed, but I was still safely cradled in his arms. My eyes opened slowly and I peeked at him through my eyelashes. His face was void of any and all emotion as he started walking to the trees. He started running as soon as he walked us through the tree line. He went faster than any other guy I had ever met, inhumanly so and my head started spinning from the image of the scenery going by so fast, as if I was in a car going over the highway speed limit.

We stopped in a clearing, where he finally set me down gently. I stumbled a bit, still a bit dizzy. He caught me and helped me steady myself on my legs that felt like Jell-O by now. Keeping his hands on my waist he looked down at me with a quizzical expression. It wasn't quite scared or worried, more like he knew that something bad was going to happen and yet he couldn't do anything to stop it.

"Has your mom ever told you Quileute tribe stories?" he asked softly.

"Every single night until I turned twelve" I answered with ease, remembering the nights when mom would come and sit on my bed and tell me bedtime stories about wolves and tribe members and vampires.

"Do you remember what they said? About certain _lucky_ tribe members being able to shift at will into gigantic wolves? About how they had to hunt down the cold ones and destroy them if they ever came across their land?" his voice was filled with tension and I felt his hands start to shake ever so slightly against my sweater.

I nodded wordlessly. He took a deep breath and stepped a few paces back, whipping his shirt off his head and tossing it aside. It was then I noticed he was completely barefoot. The crease between my eyebrows became more prominent, especially when he went to lower his pants. I averted my gaze slightly, feeling my face heat up. What was he doing?!

A loud deafening CRACK echoed across the clearing. My head snapped towards him and my eyes widened to the point they were as big as saucers. Because before me stood a large beast. The wolf had silver fur with slight darker gray strands across his back and tail. His paws could pulverize me easily and his mouth looked big enough to swallow me. However, his eyes were too intelligent to belong to an animal.

Slowly, he sank down until he was lying on his belly. He stayed still as I walked around him slowly, eyeing every little detail of him. He was muscular, beautiful almost. Muscular, like the human Christian and his fur had the same feel and texture as his hair. I ran my fingers through it as I passed by his side and a deep sound like a purr vibrated through him.

"This is surreal" I whispered to myself and chuckled nervously. "You mean to tell me that this is the big secret? This is what you've been keeping from me?"

In a heartbeat, he had shifted back into his human form. I averted my eyes quickly, feeling my cheeks heat up almost immediately. I stepped back a few paces and turned my back to him, holding my breath as I did so. I didn't realize my hands were shaking until he entwined our fingers to stop me from doing so.

"It's not just that" he whispered. "There's so much more than just that"

He turned me around slowly, before taking my hands and sitting us down on the ground. The cold breeze swept my hair around my shoulders, but I paid no mind to that. My eyes were glued to his, searching for an answer to the millions of questions running through my mind.

"Please, explain" I said in a small voice, fidgeting with my sleeve.

"My dad and the guys, plus your mom were part of the first pack that formed after our great-great-granddads. Your mom was the only female wolf and they thought it was because she couldn't have kids. She surprised everyone by having you" he started toying with a strand of my hair. "The gene was activated in them when the Cullens came back to Forks, about twenty five years ago. Our treaty with them was intact until Bella Swan came back"

He had this faraway look in his eyes; as if he was lost in his own thoughts. His eyes had something cold and steely about them now, like he was here but not quite.

"Bella and Edward pursued a relationship, but then after her eighteenth birthday, he and his family left, but unfortunately, not all cold ones did. One redhead in particular was after Bella for retaliation. The Cullens had killed her mate and she wanted to avenge him. At first, she kept bouncing through, searching for a way to get through. That's around the time Jake got involved with Bella too, never stepping out of the friend zone she had put him in, of course" he took a deep breath. "Then Bella jumped off the cliff, Alice Cullen came back and they both went to Italy. Nobody knows for sure what exactly happened there, but after that the whole clan came back to town"

He looked at me and I nodded to let him know I understood. He took a long look at my face before continuing.

"Meantime, killings started happening in Seattle. It took a while for them to realize it was really a lot of vampires, like an army. The redhead had created it to destroy the Cullens and Bella. We had to fight to protect the tribe. During it, Jacob got hurt trying to help your mom out and things went downhill from there. From the way Bella took care of him while he was injured, we all thought she'd changed her mind about becoming a vampire and would finally choose Jake instead of Edward" he shook his head. "Next thing, they all got an invitation for her and Edward's wedding. Jake was crushed and he took off, only to come back on her wedding day and have another major fight with her. Bella wanted a _normal_ honeymoon with her husband"

"Wait, back up a bit. She wanted to sleep with a _vampire_ while she was _human_?" I asked uncertainly, furrowing my eyebrows. "That sounds icky"

"Icky?" he chuckled humorlessly. "It was downright disgusting and they all thought so. Heck, _we_ thought so when we heard about it. Needless to say, things got bad. Bella got pregnant"

"_Pregnant_?" I squeaked, my eyes widening. "What? How?"

"Apparently male vampires can sleep with human girls and get them pregnant. Female vampires can't get pregnant because their bodies are stuck in time, they can't change to accommodate babies" he explained with a hint of disgust still in his tone. "Bella wanted to keep it. Jake broke away from the pack and your mom and Seth followed him. It was those three and the vampires against the rest of the pack, until the baby was born. Bella got turned with Jacob's permission and the baby girl survived. They all thought things were going to get better after that, but it got worse when the chief vampires wanted the kid dead"

"That's what mom meant by some guys giving them trouble?" I asked quietly, pieces of the puzzle falling into place in my head.

"They avoided the battle thankfully, but in order to do so they had to call _witnesses_ to verify that the child was growing rapidly and was not a real vampire baby that was uncontrollable. The gene was activated in more tribe members. More wolves. More responsibilities for Jacob and Sam and more people to defend the little monster" he shrugged. "They won in the end and then your mom left, a little after the Cullens did. We thought they'd stay away for good, but something drew them back here. They won't say what, though"

We were quiet after that, each lost in our own thoughts. I was still processing what he said, putting pieces on the huge puzzle the story had made in my head. The story he just told me made so much more sense than the version mom told me before. _Now_ I get why the Cullens are dangerous, now I know why nobody likes the fact that they're back. They always meant trouble for the pack.

"There's something else you should know, too" he said quietly, almost shyly.

I cocked my head to the side in question. He took one deep breath and then looked in my eyes again.

"Wolves have this special ability to find their soul mate. It's called _imprinting_. As Jake once told me, it's like when you see her; suddenly it's not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her" he said it in a low voice, looking down at his lap. "I have to tell you that I have imprinted on you since the very first moment I looked into your eyes. And originally I thought imprinting was just physical attraction, but it's just so much more than that to me. I can't begin to explain just how protective I feel of you, how much I really want to be by your side all the time. People call it love, but I think it's just so much more than that"

I was speechless. I was his soul mate. He said he was protective of me. He said he wanted to be by my side all the time. He said it's not love, it's more than that. I froze in place, staring at him with my lips slightly parted.

"I-I don't know how to respond to that" I said quietly. "I mean, there's nothing I could say that would top that. I don't know what love really is. I've never really loved anyone in the romantic sense. I-I just… I just know I feel something really strong for you"

There was something a bit apologetic in my tone and I didn't like it. He stared at me for one long minute before he brought his face down closer to mine. His lips brushed against mine once before I moved an inch forward and finally connected our lips the way I really wanted to. We didn't pull apart until the need for oxygen became too much for either one of us to bear. Even then, his lips travelled down the side of my neck, making my skin tingle where he touched it and finally planted a firm kiss on the crook of my neck.

"We can take it slow" he murmured, drawing back to be able to look into my eyes. "I can wait forever"

"That's a long time" I joked playfully, smiling shyly up at him.

"I'm willing to wait for as long as you want me to" his eyes were intense as he looked back at me with a shadow of a smile on his face.

I just kissed him instead of answering. I took his distraction to push him backwards and walk back a few paces. He looked shocked at first, but after a moment's hesitation, he caught on to my playful mood. He'd jump for me and I'd run away. We played around like that, like the cat playing with the mouse. He could've caught me any moment he chose to, but he let it drag on until we were breathless from laughing. In the end, though, he decided to cut it short. We were already late for the bonfire anyway.

He picked me up in one fluid motion and slung me over his shoulders, claiming that it would be faster if he just gave me a piggy back ride. I wrapped my arms and legs around him as tight as I could, afraid that I'd fall sometime during the run and probably get hurt badly. But nothing like that happened. I closed my eyes and leaned my head in the crook of his neck as he raced faster than before. I felt his whole body arch as he leaped and when I opened my eyes, just a second after that, we were back in my bedroom.

He set me down slowly, steadying me when my legs failed to keep me up. I could hear mom and grandma moving around in the house, calling out to Uncle Seth and Jake. I had almost forgotten they were supposed to come over to help get the food at the party. My stereo was still playing in the corner, my IPod still hooked on it.

_My heart's a stereo, it beats for you so listen close  
Feel my heart in every note, oh oh  
Make me your radio and turn me up when you feel low  
This melody was meant for you  
So sing along to my stereo_

"I really hope this wasn't too much to take in" he whispered, gently turning me in his arms so that he was hugging me against him tightly.

"No, I'll cope. I mean, it's still you. You just have the magical ability to turn into a beast of a wolf at will" I joked lightly, looking up at him through my eyelashes.

"You're not scared of me, my little _Belle_?" he teased, planting a kiss on my temple.

I kind of liked the _Beauty and the Beast_ reference we made. It was romantic, especially since it used to be my favorite Disney movie when I was a kid. I smiled a bit to myself and gently unwrapped his arms from around me to go fix my hair and put the finishing touches on my look. He sat on the bed and watched me as I ran a brush through my hair, untangling them and finally pulling them back in a neat ponytail. I added a little bit of my favorite toffee flavored lip gloss and I was ready to go.

They barely blinked at us when we both went through my bedroom door. Grandma just gave Christian something to carry too, just like Jacob and Uncle Seth were and handed me the muffin basket and the taper wear with the brownies. It struck to me as odd at first, but Uncle Seth and Jacob would've probably been able to hear us as we left and came back and most likely told mom and grandma about it too. I caught mom glancing every now and then at the both of us with a faint smile. I wondered what she was thinking about the whole story.

And it struck me for the first time that mom might've not have taken it this well when the news were broken to her. How did she cope with a little brother that could turn into a wolf? How did she cope with the fact that _she_ could turn into a wolf? Was it hard on her? Maybe my mom owed her strength in her ability to overcome all the difficulties here genes had put in her way. She thought she couldn't have children. That must've been heartbreaking; knowing that there was a huge chance that you'd never be able to hold a baby in your arms.

As I set what I was holding on the table Sam and Paul had put out on the side of the fire, I went and wrapped her in a tight hug. She didn't say anything; as always she understood perfectly. She hugged me back tightly and then shooed me towards the guys, heading towards Jacob herself. I saw him plant a kiss on her forehead before putting his arm around her shoulders in a protective manner. I smiled faintly. Maybe she'd finally have a chance at being happy, just as I was right now.

"Hey, why're you so quiet?" Christian asked, sounding a bit worried.

"I'm just thinking. Don't worry about it. I think I need to talk with my mom sometime soon. Maybe after the wedding tomorrow" I reached up to my tip toes to kiss his cheek.

"Bleh, keep the PDA to the minimum please! There's no need to remind the rest of us that we're not as lucky as you!" Ash teased, grinning over to the two of us. "Welcome to the family, Cass"

I winked before snuggling even deeper against Christian's side. He laughed and wrapped his arm around me and continued the discussion with his brothers. I noticed Tyler talking with Ivy, all smiles and giggles and thought that maybe we'd all get our chance in being happy, without causing each other any more problems. I was ready to stop with all the drama between me and her, but I would still be cautious. For now, though… I'd just enjoy the moment.


End file.
